' " my friend texted on a recent Tuesday while I was riding BART. For the past week, I realized, I had been too busy living "The Bachelorette." I'd been juggling guys and dates in a refreshing whirlwind of activity that, until recently, had been entirely foreign since I'd re-entered the singles scene almost a year ago. Census data show there are more single men than single women under 65 (though in San Francisco that doesn't necessarily mean single men who want to meet women).And according to a Facebook study of its users conducted last fall, San Francisco rates highest among major American cities on the ratio of single men to single women.No one wants to be ignored, but with all the crap and everything else going on in other people's lives, we need to remember not to take ghosting personally.Okay, maybe when you’re together you’ll actually make eye contact and have real conversation, but there will be no phone calls or emails until months -- years! Instead, it’ll be more of a, “Hey, wanna grab a drink after work” type of thing and then you’ll Uber there separately and have to awkwardly find each other in the bar and depending on how it goes, maybe get food after a couple of drinks, and then Uber home separately, and yes he is 100% leaving you alone on the sidewalk if his Uber shows up first. ): a large majority of them are still paying for the first date.The San Francisco dating scene is truly bizarre, which is why I've blogged about my experiences dating here a few times.So, it's no surprise that both my male and female friends have started to come to me for dating advice.
Everyone here knows someone who’s looking for love online, and indeed, many have tried it themselves. In fact, with so many people in San Francisco dating online, singles are spoiled for choice and can afford to pick and choose the site that most suits their priorities.
"The courtship culture is just much less aggressive here," acknowledges Colin Hodge, 28, CEO of Down, an app that lets users connect to date or "get down." He says that many men might find women in the Bay Area harder to approach, partly because there aren't as many of us to go around.
Kevin Lewis, an assistant professor of sociology at UC San Diego, blames the Bay Area's progressive gender norms, with men less likely to believe they need to make the first move.
If you are broke, unemployed (or umemployable), with an extensive criminal background or multiple children from previous relationships, then you probably aren't going to find it to be a "single man's paradise." However, if you are employed (even as a contractor), you have a place to stay (VERY IMPORTANT throughout the Bay Area) and you have free time to spend, you are unlikely to be spending a great deal of that time alone unless you choose to do so.
The San Francisco dating scene can be a frustrating nut to crack, so it helps to have the right tools at your disposal.