If it doesn’t work, don’t be dismayed; it just wasn’t a match. He understood my cries, he understood my pain and he got me through very hard days. Maybe, maybe not, but I felt very comfortable around him. Before he died, he wanted me to remarry; he didn’t want me to live life alone without a partner. Besides, I have a future podcast with a widow who married a widower so I’m excited to hear her love story. You’re grown and you’re not getting any younger…find a dog sitter, tell your ‘still-living-at-home’ adult children to find another place to mooch off of for the evening. Instead of allowing yourself to settle, allow yourself to grow in learning new things.
We were the ‘cute couple’ to some, but I enjoyed my independence too much. I sure would …when I can come out of my selfish desires of enjoying company by myself, when I can finally admit to myself that I’m ready for a long-term relationship and more importantly, when I can stop giving excuses of running away because of the overall feelings of guilt of selecting someone other than my husband. I’ve dated many non-widowers but to be honest, I’ve never had so much fun with the only widower that was interested in me. Actually, I’ve been through it all and to be honest, the only one who made me truly smile, was-a-widower :-). Don’t settle for a man who doesn’t do anything for your mind or spirit. If he’s old enough to purchase wine, he’s an adult.
You want the hand-holding, movie outing, and bear-hugging-type dates. You’ve tried yoga, Planet Fitness, Home Owners Association meetings and you’ve even stooped so far as to rejoining bereavement groups, just for the possibility of bumping into a potential mate – and nothing. As a widow of five years, and a widow who has had my share of dating since his death, I feel I can share a thing or two about dating so I’ve developed these ten tips for the older widow to help you along the journey of dating. Please don’t feel that you have to pretend to be someone you’re not. Yes, lying about your age may give you a better chance at getting a date. Yes, you may feel youthful, sexy and carefree but, you’re lying.
You’re an empty-nester and the house is just too big (or too small) for just one person. You’ve tried blind dates, online dating, speed dating and even church. What if the relationship thrives and you both fall in love? Remember, honesty in a relationship can make or break it. Widowers may ‘get it’ long before a non-widower does.
For people who aren't familiar with the horrors of ALS, it is a fatal neuromuscular disease that weakens voluntary muscles, eventually leaving the sufferer completely immobilized--yet the patient's mental faculties and senses remain intact.
It is imprisonment in one's body, until death by suffocation.
Speaking of long weekends--the next one, Columbus Day weekend, is when the ALS Association is holding its D. It occurred to me that if everyone reading this 100 percent free online discussion kicked in 5 bucks, we'd smash the fund-raising record.
In her daily column in The Washington Post Style section, Carolyn Hax offers readers advice based on the experiences of someone who's been there. Carolyn was online Friday, August 29 taking your questions and comments about her current advice column and any other questions you might have about the strange train we call life. Interested in the ALS Association's Walk to D'Feet ALS on October 12, 2008?
Hax is an ex-repatriated New Englander with a liberal arts degree and a lot of opinions and that's about it, really, when you get right down to it. Her answers may appear online or in an upcoming column. Make a contribution at Carolyn's page or sign up to walk with the Hax Pack. Check out Carolyn's brand new discussion group, Hax-Philes.
Today marks the one-hundredth birthday of my great-aunt Maxine Smith of Newton, Kansas.
My mother flew out yesterday to celebrate this occasion with her siblings.